~With the Good … Comes the Bad~

I had to giggle a little bit as I watched my very pregnant doe Hersey walk away from me for she did not walk but rather ‘waddle’ around her very large and pregnant belly. She peered back at me as it to say “what on earth are you giggling at?!” the irritated look on her face was to much for me to bare with a strait face and I began to laugh out loud which in turn only made her seem more annoyed and frustrated at me.
Now that I had provoked her into a rather grumpy and cross state of mind, I walked up to her in a more sympathetic and pleasing manor. I bent down close to her head and began to stroke her cheeks in a loving and tender way. She seemed to think that this small, kind gesture was a bit more appealing and pleasing than the “offensive, painful verbal insults that I had just afflicted her with”. I reassured her with an earnest enthusiastic tone that I honestly did not mean to hurt her feelings. She leaned her head upon my shoulder and let out a long un-comfortable moan. I smiled at her and pressed my hand along her rather broad sides.
As I began to stroke her, I felt a small ‘kick’ against my hand. I immediately paused for a moment in hopes that I might feel it once again and to my great delight, it kicked yet once more! Only this time, it sent off a chain reaction of perplexing movements within her whom that, from the outside, appeared to be a friendly elbow fight of nudging and kicking … I could almost hear them saying:
“this is my seat!”
“move over!”
“I was here first!”
“ouch!”
“hey give that back!”
“ Don’t touch me!!”
Hershey gave out a gigantic sigh and looked at me as if to say, “Look at what you started now! They had just settled and just look at what you had to go and do!!” I smiled at her and said, “Just 5 more days girl, just 5 more days”.
Seeing that I was (once again) beginning to annoy her, I scratched her cheeks one last time and returned to my work.
As I re-entered the barn I stopped for a moment to say hello to an old buddy of mine. Shovent is a goat that I had purchased as a kid. He is rather ‘different’ from our other bucks. He was always such a fascinating creature to watch for he carried himself with such a regal air & he was SO beautiful. His long, pure white coat glistened and gleamed in the summer’s sun. He was a ‘hardy’ buck that was loyal, confident, courageous and he had an interesting ‘intellectual’ look about him that always made you stare at him for a lengthy bit of time.
I sat there for moment remembering the 8 hour drive that we took to pick him up. I remembered how he would so patiently tolerate me as I would put hot curlers in his beard before a show to make it appear more curly and beautiful. I gazed across the barn at his terrific daughters. How wonderful they were growing up to be!
Sitting there remembering those joyous days of years past, it was hard for me to take a look at him now. His coat did not feel as soft as it once was and his eyes were all sunken in. Knowing that he was dyeing and that there was nothing on earth that I could do to save him sent me strait into the dumps. I felt so heavy-hearted and depressed knowing that his days were numbered but yet at the same time, I was at peace with it all. I knew that the Lord God Almighty had a reason for this, even though I did not understand it. I knew that all of it was for the better in the end. Besides, with the good also comes the bad, right? We cannot be brought into this world, without leaving it at some point or another.
I knew that he was dyeing of something that man could not fix … I knew that it just had to run it’s coarse, and I was really and truly hoping that he would go peacefully. But I also knew that the moment that I saw him in pain, that it would be my duty to put him out of his misery.It was with these thoughts running through my head that I left the barn. At that point in time I felt that I was fully prepared to face my buddy’s death.
The next day, the snow blinded my eyes as I stepped out into the winter wonderland before me. The sun was shining and I felt rather cheerful and enthusiastic about what the day might bring. I remember how lighthearted, merry and optimistic I felt as I entered the barn that morning.
All of these sparkling, spirited emotions came to a crashing halt as the painful cry of a goat reached my ears.
I became breathless and felt nauseated. I tried to bring my (now sweaty) hand to my head to wipe the tears that were now streaming full force down my face however, I could not do it as I now found my self paralyzed. I stood there, immobilized for what felt like hours until the piercing gut wrenching sound of Shovenet’s painful cry once again hit my hears. I had no doubt in my mind that it was Shovy, I could recognize his voice anywhere.
For weeks now I had prepared myself for this day and now it had finally come. Some time had passed & I sill found my self paralyzed with the reality with what duty now lay before me. I slowly walked down to his pen, climbed in and just cradled his head. I sat there, thanking the Lord for the time that I did have with this buck and for his kids that we were so blessed to have.
There was quite a gloomy air about the barn as I went about my chores that morning. After making the proper arrangements, I went in and informed my father as to the unpleasant job that we had at hand and then I returned back to the barn, one last time, to say goodbye to my old friend.
In the next few moments followed the inevitable events that had to happen sooner or later. However, I could not stop wishing that it would have happened later … rather than sooner.
But I know that the Lord has a plan and a purpose for the timing of it all and it was not my businesses to question His will in the matter.
Life continued on in the barn just like it always does. There were 40 other mouths to feed and the circle of life kept going.
The day finally arrived for Hershey to have her kids however I was not looking forward to it. Not because I did not want her to have her kids, I was REALLY excited for her to have her kids. It was just that I am well aware of how so many things can go wrong with deliveries and I really did not want my sweet Hershey to have a horrible delivery and loose her kids or her own life. She had made it through 10 other deliveries so you would think that this one should be a cinch.
I am not quite sure why I started to be rather concerned and anxious about her labor. Everything was moving along at text book pace, her contractions were coming at the right times and every thing was going great. All the signs of a normal delivery were at hand however I was still rather sullen and moody about it all … something deep inside of me said that things were about to go wrong.
Unfortunately, my gut was totally and completely right.I will spare you all of the gory details of how I had to hold her still with her blood curdling screams blaring in my ear & how terribly hard it was for Beth & Mom to get the twisted kids untwisted and finally pulled out. When it was all said and done, Hershey had two does and a buck kid.
The buck kid would need intense physical therapy with his front legs for the following week due to the stress of being pulled on that hard to get him out.
The one doe kid was perfectly fine and will lead a perfectly healthy and comfortable life.
The other doe however, is a blessing in disguise for she was born with a crippled front leg and a severe undershot jaw. She would need to have help eating for the first two weeks of her life because she would not be able to obtain the strength in her other three legs for a while due to the stress that was put on them during the untangling, and pulling process in her delivery.
Hershey would take a while to heal and regain her strength from such a delivery but the joy of finally having her kids by her side would be enough to get her back on her feet.
The Lord is so gracious and merciful to us! Things did not go in a ‘textbook’ fashion but they went according to His will and that is that. I still have yet to understand the blessing in the little crippled kid (now named Hopeful Hobbles).
We made a trip to the vet in hopes that the leg could be surgically straitened. However, the leg is crippled far beyond human repair. It appears that Hope was conceived that way and it is with that crippled leg that she will live the remainder of her days here on earth. On any ‘normal’ working farm a crippled animal like Hope would not be kept. However, I am going to hang on to her for a while. I have heard many stories of three legged animals who have lead healthy and productive lives. Now sure, sure, Hope will require some extra attention and a bit more work. But I am stepping forward in faith that if she went through that all of that trauma during her birth, and came out alive and is still alive today … that she must be here for a reason.
I have yet to understand the blessed reason in her being crippled, but it might be one of those things that is not meant for me to know.
I know that this is the path that God has put before me to walk, and I am going to walk it, trusting Him that He has a reason for putting the good, alongside of the bad. :0)