Choosing Life or Death in those that we have Dominion Over

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” -Genesis 1:26
A righteous man regards the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.
-Proverbs 12:10-

It was another cold winter’s afternoon when I was just about to sit down and have myself a scrumptious bowl of chicken noodle soup. It was scalding hot, however, the smell of this delicious, tasty delightfully yummy dish was making my mouth water. I was doing all that I could do to keep my hand from hastily grabbing up a spoon, and taking in a rather large mouthful of the flavorsome dish. Somehow, I was able to maintain self control until it had cooled off enough for me to eat. This marvelous soup was well worth the wait for (as we all know) such an appetizing dish as chicken noodle soup is always enjoyed much more with an un-scalded tongue!
I sat there for a moment, eating my soup and gazing out the window on the snow-covered corn fields. The sight was quite visually overwhelming. The sun was shining down on the snow with such a fairytale like glow, that it made all of the fields appear to be a rolling sea of diamonds, and our curving stream, looked like a river of solid glass. I breathed in these few peaceful moments as long as I could for I knew that my day was about to drastically change.
Beth was out in the barn timing contractions of a doe (Penny) that was in labor. By the pattern of things and Penny’s progression, (or lack of progression) in dilation, we knew that something was horribly wrong but we would not know what exactly was the problem until the labor had progressed a bit more.
I finished up my soup and kept busy in the house for a while, (trying to un-thaw my frozen limbs). Soon, I received a phone call from Beth saying that Penny was just coming out of transition, and was getting ready to push.
I hastily suited up in my Carhartts, grabbed a pale of warm water, and headed out to the barn. Penny’s labor had progressed quite a bit in the time that it took me to get out there and it was evident that something was defiantly very wrong.
Beth had been trying for quite a while to get the mass of feet and legs of the unborn twins untangled (it seamed that they were fighting and struggling like Jacob and Esau!!) when then she FIANLY got the front legs and head of a kid properly situated in the birth cannel. She knew that she had about 30 seconds until the next contraction came to re-vive her hand. In as much as a human arm is the same size if not smaller than the kid trying to get out, our limbs are not used to taking this abuse thus making it very painful.
The human body is an extraordinary and complex being however, there is only so much constriction and lack of blood flow that the hand and arm can take. It is not uncommon for a person to actually experience bruising, swelling, and intense pain for days to follow after an intense delivery. All do to the constrictions placed on the limbs while in the birth canal and womb during aiding in a delivery.
While Beth plunged her hand into a pale of warm water and begin to rub it quite vigorously to aid in blood flow, I tried to catch my breath (It takes more energy than one would originally think to comfort a doe and hold her still during a situation like this!).
By now, Penny was totally exhausted and no longer wanted to push. Being a fist time mom she really did not have a clue as to what she was pushing for and therefore had no enthusiasm to get this over with.
Seeing that the next contraction was on its way, we resumed our positions and started making more effort to get these kids out. Labor had gone on long enough (for all parties involved) and things were starting to get dangerous for the health and survival of Penny and her unborn kids. We knew that it was absolutely crucial,, that we get these kids out within the next few contractions or else, all would be lost. Now that kid was lined up perfectly, we felt confident that we could get it out. We had ruled out doing a C-section ages ago because it was obvious that kid was not to large and that mom not to small.
Several contractions later we still did not have the kid out. Both of us were trying not to panic, we knew that it would come out … eventually. Our main question is if it would come out dead, or alive. A goat kid’s body will only allow itself to be in the canal for so long before the umbilical cord breaks and it begins to breath. I believe it is quite obvious what would happen to it if it started breathing while still in the womb/canal.
Both Beth and I had been praying during this entire time for the delivery of these kids, now we found that we were asking for help to remain calm and collected and not totally loose it! It is quite un-imaginable what under going this kind of stress during kidding season, day in and day out, for 16 years can to your frame of mind. After a while your mind starts to do flash backs (almost like a war veteran) on all of the worst case scenarios that you have ever faced during a delivery, and it soon becomes very hard to focus on the job at hand. We continued on praying as we pulled, and pulled, … but the kid would not come. Then, we heard a sound that sent chills down our spine and a very heavy rock into the pit of our stomachs.
It was the gurgling, screeching maa of the kid in the canal. The heart-wrenching sickening sound of that maa continued again, and again, and again as the kid began to struggle and pull backwards against us. We pulled and pulled but just could not make it budge which brought us to the realization of a decision that had to be made.
Since we could not get the kid out it would most inevitably die now that it was breathing, however (because of the anatomy of a goats) since it was kicking so hard it would rupture Penny’s uterus that would most inevitably kill her (They can kick to there hearts’ content when in the whom, but not in the canal). So, Beth could either try and save a dyeing kid, or try and save Penny.
Tears began to well up in Beth’s eyes as she looked at me and said “I am so sorry Dawn! I have tried my hardest, but now I need to save Penny”. With that said, she pushed the kid back into the whom. She was then able to grab the other kid and pull it out. After we had this healthy buck kid’s air ways clear she went back in to try once again to pull out the other kid. This time it was not struggling and she was able to get it out. To our utter amazement, it was still alive!!! He was a bit blue in the face but he was breathing! Both of us could not believe it!!
After we had caught our breath, we realized that he may be alive, but there was something really wrong with him. Upon closer investigation we found that his entire rib cage was shattered. Now, we have had this in kids before and we know that sometimes they live, and sometimes they don’t. It all depends on the severity of the breaks in the rib cage. By the looks of things, it seemed that he was most likely to die. However, there was a slim chance that he may live.
So, once again we were faced with a rather hard decision. Do we ‘save’ this little baby from a very long and painful death by putting him to sleep? Or do we nurse him in hopes that he lives? If we nurse him and then later find out that he is to far beyond repair and he dies, than I would feel horrible for letting him suffer for such a lengthy time. But if we put him to sleep and the autopsy report shows that he would have lived, than I will feel so horrible for killing him.
Its times like this, when I wish that there was a blinking light someplace that would tell you what to do. However, this is not the case and the time for me to make up my mind was nearing.
As a rule, we are pro-life in all situations. Since God has given us dominion over all creatures we can and do choose life, but that is not always a good thing. I do not always want to be the one to say weather creatures live or die. Now you the reader, might argue that it is really God that takes the life because it is already predestined to happen, however it is still going to be my physical hand that physically ends the life of the animal. This is where we must walk fine lines concerning the care of creatures on this earth, and, it was in these fine lines that my mind, heart, and soul were getting caught up in making a decision.
After a while of prayerful thought, I decided to give him a chance, hoping that he would live.
Beth (seeing that I was emotionally beat) offered to nurse him for me so that I would not have the stress of caring for him through the night.
I could write ten more pages on the events that happened during that long night, but the bottom line is that in the morning, he seemed to be getting better. A sigh of relief came over me as it appeared that I had made the right decision. He was still in a lot of pain, but, his breathing was improving.
In the late afternoon, things started to go down hill really fast. Upon yet another in depth examination, we found his rib cage was shattered beyond human repair, one lung had been punctured and was completely collapsed and his abdomen was filling up due to internal bleeding.
No words can express the emotions that run through the core of your being once you realize that the very baby that you have worked so hard to save, that you must now put out of its misery. To let him die on his own would be a slow, inhuman, tortures death.
The inevitable was now here, what needed to be done was done, and life continued on.
I kicked myself for quite some time after that. For not ending his misery sooner. But, there is only so much that you can do at a time like this. I don’t understand it, but I know that my Lord does. And I know that he has a reason for it, even though I don’t understand it, I know that He means it for good. And I can rest easy in that knowledge.